Btwn a rock and a hard place

I never intended for any of this to happen, in fact i worked hard to avoid this very issue. You were never part of my plans, before i viewed you as a mere pawn in my ruthless game of love. determined not to get hurt again, i selfishly choose to allow my emotions to die rater than to relate myself to hurt and pain. The very thing tht i was trying to avoid ive encountered. I cant quite figure out whn or how i let you in. maybe it was the time i let you hold me, or whn i subconsciously began to trust in you, or maybe it was the time that i allowed you to view me in such away tht most ppl never see. Possibly that night when i accidently looked into your eyes and saw something beautiful, and since then i placed you in my future inspite of myself. I watched u work hard to prove to me that you were worthy of my love, and to show me how much u really wanted to be with me. My mind can't fathom why all of the sudden you lose sight of all this. I know that u care about me, but something is holding you back from me. My question to you is, whatever it is that is holding you from me, is it worth it? If the answer is yes, then i will let you go, but if its no then i ask you to rethink ur actions. i cant quite articulate my feelings for you. all i know is tht Love is too strong of a word and like is to weak of one. i have these deep feelings of affainty for you, of which i am not willing to let go.